so i am at the funeral for the son of an old mentor of mine and my closet truth friends.. .
(i talked about r in a previous post, he was the most formative person in my life in the truth, and those of my family and friends.).
i was pulled aside by r's wife; she tells me that r wants to talk to me.. .
Thank you for your memories. It brought back a lot of feelings for me also. Sometimes thinking of the past and how I felt about the older ones as a young person looking up to them, putting so much trust in them that it makes my heart hurt so much now for what could have been and should have been. All the pain and hurtfulness and yet good time mixed into it all. It's hard for me to make sense of it all now.
I agree that sending a card would be a kind way to go.
LITS
i had a flash back yesterday.
my non jw husband and i went to disneyland and bought my young daughter a set of 7 dwarf toys.
after a few months i felt guilty and threw them away, thinking they were demonized.
I was told by an elder that I had to throw away the song 1999 by Prince. He really tore into me about having that song in my home. Now Prince is suposed to be a JW and still making the same music that I had to throw out. I guess now it's OK to have his CD's?
LITS
what is it like for you when you run into someone from your happy days growing up in the kingdom hall?.
it happened to me recently, and it brought out a flood of memories about r, an old friend and mentor.. it is a service day; as we drive along route 6 in rs gray four door rambler ambassador, we pass a baptist church.
it is a thursday afternoon, sunny and warm, and r and i are on our way to the territory to make calls.
Your right Pistoff in the fact that even through they were so hurtful there was this huge part of me that liked them, because they could be nice, really nice at times. I think for me it was because I believed it so strongly that I sort of worshiped these men for who they were in the "truth". Now all I see is how sad it all was and how they used their power in hurtful ways.
LITS
what is it like for you when you run into someone from your happy days growing up in the kingdom hall?.
it happened to me recently, and it brought out a flood of memories about r, an old friend and mentor.. it is a service day; as we drive along route 6 in rs gray four door rambler ambassador, we pass a baptist church.
it is a thursday afternoon, sunny and warm, and r and i are on our way to the territory to make calls.
It totally reminds me of three elders I knew growing up. When you said that "R brought a lot of people into the "truth" and stumbled as many out" that was these elders. They could be really kind and brutally mean in seconds of each other.
One of these elders berated me to the point that I just wished I was dead because I had taken him on a study of mine, I was only 16 years old and my parents were not strong JW's. I did not know about the head covering thing. This elder just ripped me to pieces because I did not my head covered in front of my study. I know it was stupid for me not to know this very important part of our faith but I did not know that women, young girls had to have their head covered in front of the brothers. I put a paper towel on my head to appease him, but he berated me all the way home, he was in his 60's at the time. I look back now and think how could a grown man do that to a young girl.
Another time I was pulled into the back room alone with two of these men and told I had to stop dating my now husband because I would ruin his spititual life. Till this day I do not know why they did that. I was not marked, I was in good standing, pioneered, etc. It just totally crushed me and even till this day it hurts for some stupid reason even though I do not now belieive it's the "truth" I did than. I totally believed back than it was my whole life and to have these men say that to me was beyond horrible. Even now in the back of my mind I still wonder what is so worng with me that they would do that without telling me why they felt I was so horrible as to ruin someones life. Who does that to a young 20 year old women? And it was a surprise hit when they came up to me in front of another young sister I was talking to and demaned that I go into the back room alone with them, I had not a clue that they were going to do that, or that I was in any kind of trouble. The sister I was talking to kept asking me what I had done wrong. I never told her.
All the things these elders did still hurt 30 years later. They left such a mark on my soul and spirit.
LITS
as the title says, please list what you find annoying with the organization..
Pedophiles
i was baptized in 1968. last meeting 2010. i have to say i was never 100% in.
there were times i absolutely believed, but i never really gave it my all.
never liked service, assemblies, meetings.
110% I believed it all and gave it my all. I wish I could get the lost years now.
LITS
for me, that happy day was in morro bay, calif. it was the fall, oct 1958 or 9. gorgeous weather.
the sun was shining and the wind was coming off of the ocean.. at that time, morro bay was unassigned territory.. talesin on another thread was talking about a lovely day she had, going with her grandfather, talking with a mr languages.
lol.
I truly wish I could remember happy times but it all just seems so sad to me now. I was terrirfied of dogs but I still had to go to door with dogs because as I was told Jehovah would not let me be bit. Yet I was bit six times, so I was always on edge. After we got married we lived in the country where a CO had asked my husband to serve becase they needed elders, we drove and drove and drove for hours on end. Some days I would spend 8 to 10 hours in serive and only get out two or three times if I was lucky. The congregation we were asigned to had huge problems and my husband was gone all the time, none of the friends liked me, nor wanted me in their car groups. I could be in the car for 10 plus hours and no one would even speak to me. The house we rented was surrounded by JW's yet I was never invited into any of their homes for the 4 years we lived there.
This does not even begin to touch on before we were married and how none of the elders went out in service but sent their kids out and how I had this small car and I would put 5 to six kids in it with the parents knowing. It's against the law now as I did not have enough seat belts but as long as the elder's and their wive's did not have to go out they were good with me a older teenager taking thier kids out. It was horrible as none of the kids had any respect for me and treated me like dirt.
So no I just do not have good memories of field service, just being yelled at either by the householder or the JW I was with.
LITS
i believe that the older you are the harder it is to leave the watchtower.. .
i am attempting to get a list of ages people learnt the "truth" and what age they left.. .
uun.
Born in and totally belived it, went to Bethel, pioneered, elders wife, etc found TTATT at age 45. I wish I had known sooner, what a waste of my life.
LITS
just found out from my jw mom that the congregations located in the suburbs north of seattle.
will be renting buses to shuttle people back and forth to the international convention at husky.
stadium.
Marked
those of you who served as elders, did your wife or other family members / friends find your secret shepherd the flock book?
how did they react?
how did you react?.
I was like nugget. I never cared, I was way to busy with working and trying to support us to pioneer, my husband was gone most of the time doing his elder stuff and the thought never crossed my mind to even look for his book, he might have had it with him for all I know. I was bored enough just trying to read the WT and Awake anyway, that was horrible enough.
What I do knoe is it was horrible being an elder's wife, I wish I could go back and tell my 20 something year old self to run. All those wasted years, being treated like dirt and sitting in the car for hours. What a waste of life.
LITS
